The day is soon coming when we will no longer have any news cars on the road.
The death of the news car started slowly. First, stations outfitted a Jeep or SUV with some fancy graphics and some blinking lights and called it the, "Mobile Weather Lab", "StormTracker 9000", "Action News Weather Beast", or some other catchy name that could be used in a promo.
The news cars on the lot, sat by and snickered at the fancy cars, but they knew that they were the work horses. The news car which hasn't been washed since Bush administration, littered with McDonald's bags that still have McRib sauce stains and old Starbucks coffee cups.
But now, it seems the run is ending.
WJLA, the Sinclair station in Washington, DC has just one upped the Weather Beast with the, "VoteTrak2016 news truck."
According to the station, "award-winning journalist" (because you can't just put a regular journalist in the VoteTrak2016) Brad Bell will be hitting the road till election day in the ABC7-branded VoteTrak2016 news truck, visiting communities in the region as well as nearby swing states to check the pulse and opinions of voters.
“Our aim is to gather and tell great stories about the electorate,” said ABC7 Director of News Mitch Jacob, “and we are certain Brad and VoteTrak2016 will help us gain greater insight and perspective on this history-making election.”
You know, because there is no way Brad could pull this off in a regular news car. No Brad wants, Brad needs VoteTrak2016.
Brad and his crew of thousands will pile into the Hummer...errrrrr....VoteTrak2016 and hit the road. They making stops in:
Maryland: Baltimore, Cambridge, Hagerstown
Virginia: Charlottesville, Old Town Alexandria, Petersburg
Washington, DC: National Mall, Old Ebbitt Grill
West Virginia: Harper's Ferry
In addition, Bell and VoteTrak2016 will make stops at area universities and military installations.
Now, FTVLive also has a Hummer and we can tell you, if Brad is going to be driving the VoteTrak2016 to all those locations, he better bring along the company credit card. The gas bill is going to be a bitch.
But hey, VoteTrak2016 would have looked a bit wimpy if it was a Prius.
Many of you may think that I just made up this story. I can assure you, VoteTrak2016 is a real thing. Here is the link to WJLA's website talking about it.
Sadly, soon all news cars will be replaced. You'll have the a special car for the health segment, The "Healthcare Healthcar", Sports will be done out of the "Touchdown Toyota" and shootings will be covered by the "Action News Silver Bullet".
RIP News car, you led a long life.