Subject: How to Settle a Meritless Lawsuit for $16 Million (And Other Fun Corporate Tricks)Good morning, Well, gather 'round, folks, because you're not going to believe the story coming out of the hallowed halls of journalism at CBS. It seems that the news network has discovered a revolutionary new legal strategy: if you have a lawsuit that is "completely without merit," the best course of action is to... apparently... pay the plaintiff $16 million. Yes, you read that right. Paramount/CBS just handed Donald Trump a cool $16 million to settle a lawsuit he brought against "60 Minutes." This is the very same lawsuit that CBS lawyers, presumably with straight faces, told a judge was baseless and frivolous. So, what changed? Did they suddenly discover the merit between the couch cushions at corporate headquarters? Or—and hear me out, this is just a crazy theory—could it have anything to do with the fact that Paramount's sale to Skydance, a deal that stands to make chairwoman Shari Redstone a galactic amount of money, just so happened to need approval from the Trump administration? And could it be that this approval needed to happen very quickly before the deal's clock ran out? Nah, couldn't be. That would imply that a major American news organization paid what looks an awful lot like a $16 million bribe, using a nuisance lawsuit as cover, to grease the wheels of a corporate megadeal. That would be a sickening betrayal of any and all journalistic ethics. It would be a complete and utter capitulation for the sake of lining a billionaire's pockets. In a press release that wins the award for "Most Tone-Deaf Statement of the Year," CBS proudly announced that the settlement includes "no apology or statement of regret." Oh, thank goodness! I was worried they might feel bad about it. I'm sure Mr. Trump is weeping into a pile of cash over the lack of a heartfelt apology. He got the money, which, let's be honest, was always the point. So, congratulations, CBS. You paid the man, Shari Redstone gets her payday, and all it cost was your last shred of credibility. Shame on you. It's a masterclass in corporate cowardice.
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